Is a ‘sleep divorce’ the secret to a lasting relationship for couples?
Many couples are opting for a sleep divorce, which sees them dozing off in separate bedrooms and helps to strengthen their relationship.
The hashtag #separatebedrooms has amassed more than 1.1 million views on TikTok, with social media users sharing that come nighttime, they kick their partners out of their bedrooms to get a better night’s sleep.
Unlike an actual separation, a sleep divorce doesn’t involve all the paperwork, and has couples moving into two different rooms due to snoring, body heat, varying schedules, and insomnia.
The hashtag #separatebedrooms has amassed more than 1.1 million views on TikTok, with social media users sharing that come nighttime, they kick their partners out of their bedrooms
Canadian Siobhan , 27, and her 25-year-old boyfriend, Jamie, used to share a bed every night, but because of their different schedules, they now sleep in separate bedrooms
Karol and Yasmine revealed that being able to dictate how their space looks while having some time to themselves has helped their relationship tremendously
The solution to your relationship problems? What is a sleep divorce and how it can benefit you and your partner?
- A sleep divorce sees you and your partner dozing off in separate bedrooms
- It has gained traction on TikTok, where the hashtag #separatebedrooms has amassed more than 1.1 million views
- Going through a sleep divorce can help you and your partner have more freedom to maintain your space without worrying what the other would think
- It can also help you and your significant other cherish your time before bed and your mornings together even more
- Going through a sleep divorce is also said to help you sleep better, and avoid any snoring, body heat, and different schedule issues that may be causing you to go through many restless nights
- Getting better rest allows you and your partner to have more honest and open communication about what you may need from each other
Canadian Siobhan, 27, and her 25-year-old boyfriend, Jamie, used to share a bed every night, but because of their different schedules and Siobhan’s sleep disorder, the couple spent many restless nights up together.
Soon enough, tension started to build as the couple’s constant sleep deprivation saw them struggling to effectively communicate with each other.
The couple then decided to start sleeping in separate bedrooms in hopes of solving both their sleep and relationship issues.
In a viral video, which has amassed more than 178,000 views, Siobhan detailed why the couple decided to make the switch and how it had helped make their relationship stronger.
She noted that sleeping in separate rooms can be a ‘game changer for couples’ before adding that she first received the advice from ‘a married couple who had been married for 40 years and they were so happy.’
Speaking about her boyfriend, she said: ‘We have been together for three years and for one and a half of those years we have had our own bedrooms. We will occasionally sleep in the same bed, but for the most part, we sleep separate.
‘I actually got this advice from a married couple who had been married for 40 years and they were so happy, and so youthful and so in love and they said that sleeping separately has been such a game changer.’
Siobhan added that her and Jamie decided to go through a sleep divorce because of their ‘really different sleep schedules.’
‘The main reason we started doing this is because we have really different sleep schedules and I am also someone whose mood is very influenced by how much sleep I had so with Jamie being a night owl and me being more of an early sleeper, when we were sleeping together it would mean that I would be up a lot later and I wouldn’t get as good of a sleep because he would be coming in later and waking me up,’ she explained.
‘Since doing this I feel like it has made such a difference and I wouldn’t change anything.’
Speaking to Elite Daily, the 27-year-old noted that once they were able to ‘resolve the sleep-related tension,’ they also resolved many ‘other small disagreements.’
Siobhan noted that it took her and Jamie some time to come around to the idea of getting a sleep divorce because they ‘really enjoyed winding down together before bed,’ but once they did, they never looked back.
Siobhan noted that sleeping in separate rooms can be a ‘game changer for couples’
Yasmine added that she likes having a separate bedroom because she gets to be ‘selfish’ with her decorations
Mississippi’s Kayla, 19, and boyfriend Nick, 21, also decided to go through a sleep divorce, which allowed her to decorate her room ‘girly,’ according to her TikTok
Experts have backed up the claims that snoozing in a separate bedroom to your partner can both help your sleep health and your relationship.
Clinical psychologist and couples therapist Gaby Balsells told Elite Daily that by sleeping separately you don’t affect ‘your partner with your routine, so you have greater freedom over your daily schedule.’
The therapist noted that this also meant you had the freedom to maintain or decorate your space however you saw fit.
Psychologist Gaby Balsells told Elite Daily sleeping separately allows for more freedom
One couple revealed that being able to dictate how their space looked while having some time to themselves had helped their relationship tremendously.
Professional makeup artist Karol, 26, – who uses they/them pronouns – and their partner Yasmine, a 27-year-old social media manager from New York City, noted that they enjoyed not feeling ‘obligated to tidy to anyone’s standards but my own.’
Yasmine added that she likes having a separate bedroom because she gets to be ‘selfish’ with her decorations.
Karol even further explained why they loved the couple’s sleep divorce in a TikTok video.
‘I don’t know who needs to hear this but move in with your partner but keep your own bedrooms,’ they said.
‘I am in my own bedroom right now in the same apartment as my partner and I am awake doing my skincare the way that I like it, sprawled on my bed, watching the s*** that I want to watch on YouTube, no compromising.
‘And then if you want you can come together, but you don’t have to, it’s not a pre-requisite.’
The couple told Elite Daily that they believe most couples break up when moving in together because they don’t know how to coexist healthily
So as soon as they moved in together, the couple decided to create appropriate boundaries for them that would strengthen their relationship, such as having separate bedrooms
Kayla, 19, and 21-year-old boyfriend Nick, from Mississippi, also decided to go through a sleep divorce.
It has allowed Kayla to decorate her room ‘girly,’ according to her TikTok.
The couple told Elite Daily that they believed most couples break up when moving in together because they don’t know how to healthily coexist.
So as soon as they moved in together, Kayla and Nick decided to create appropriate boundaries for them that would strengthen their relationship, such as having separate bedrooms.
And the Mississippi-based couple noted that although it may seem like snoozing in two different rooms would dull their sex life, it has actually done the opposite.
Therapist Curren Trusty said couples avoid a sleep divorce due to fear of being judged
Kayla explained that having their own rooms has made ‘being intimate with one another much more exciting.’
Licensed therapist Curren Trusty noted that sometimes couples avoid going through a sleep divorce because they are afraid of the judgement from others.
She told Elite Daily that if ‘sleeping separately works for you and your partner, let the haters keep their opinions to themselves.’
And if you are worried that dozing off without your partner next to you may take away from your time together, the couples who have successfully gone through sleep divorces noted that you shouldn’t worry.
For Karol and Yasmine, sleeping in different rooms has helped them be more honest when it comes to communicating what they need from each other, whether it’s ‘sleeping together for a night,’ spending extra time together before going to bed, or planning a date night that weekend.
Meanwhile, Siobhan and Jamie explained that since they don’t sleep next to each other, they cherish their mornings together even more.
Siobhan said that since they both work from home, the couple will spend the mornings together before beginning their jobs, and then come back to each other in the afternoons.
|City||Per cent of positive tweets||Per cent of negative tweets|
|New York, NY||42.8||20.9|
|Los Angeles, CA||37.9||19.4|
She told Elite Daily that having separate spaces makes them ‘more excited to come back together and reconnect.’
If you are debating going through a sleep divorce with your partner, Balsells suggests a trial-and-error approach that sees you having an ‘open mind’ and checking in with each other after trying it out for ‘one whole week.’
A recent report by the CDC found that about 70 million people suffer from sleep problems.
Many people across the country have thought about going through a sleep divorce to solve their problems.
Sleepopolis studied which cities tweeted about sleep divorces the most, and the sleep experts found that New Yorkers were tweeting the most about dozing off without your partner, with more than 1,000 tweets in the last year.
Of the 1,000 tweets, 42.8 per cent were positive, while 25.9 per cent were negative.
Couples in Dallas, Texas tweeted the least about sleep divorces, with 35.5 per cent of the tweets positive and 24 per cent negative.